Saturday, January 21, 2006

Take a Break from Yourself

Believe me, I would like nothing more than to take a break from myself; check into the all-inclusive resort of somebody else's tranquil mind, maybe sip a few Dr Pepper's around the pool. Many of you keep diaries or blogs yourself, and so you understand how, in this particular moment in life, we're working and/or raising our children, arguing with and/or adoring our spouses, remembering and forgetting all we have to be grateful for, and there may just not be that much to say. And yet we can't stop saying it.
I mention this today because of ye olde division of labor with my spousal componant. I went on and on like a terrible screeching train that you just keep watching, and you're waiting for it to end, but there are always more and more cars behind the one you assumed had to finally be the caboose. I groaned and raged and wept and gesticulated wildly with my hands, and woe is me, and aargh, and when, at long last, there was a moment of silence, stained as it was with all of the venomous yuck still hanging in the air around my horrible ungrateful person, He nodded and said, "Okay. I'll try to dust more." Which is a good start, no? But I don't really want him to dust more. I want him to pull me into his arms at the end of the day, look me in the eyes, and say, "Love of my life, I can't believe how much you do." It's so stupid — I mean, all of us are doing so much, and he is so selfless and lovely, and I know he appreciates me. I love my life so passionately. But I'm just such a big crybaby right now.
Ben and Birdy-

Sunday, January 1, 2006

Goals? Nah!

I've always wondered why I HATE, I mean HATE writing goals down. For awhile, I thought it was because I am afraid of dissapointment. Nah, That's not it, I'm not afraid of anything really. I just thought goals were cheesy. Lame even. Seems to me that you can't plan anything. I learned this at an early age.
Example: I wanted to be a violin prodigy, then I broke all 4 fingers on my left hand. Whoops. 12 weeks of healing means no violin prodigy. Actually my instructor refused to help me catch up and we couldn't afford private lessons... But that was another story.
K, I'll think of a better example in a minute. Oh, Okay here's one. -I wanted to be a Radiology Tech. After much hard work and blah blah blah ...Weber didn't accept me into the program, I had a 3.85 GPA! (Demanding program. Never enough openings.) I am a good person! A hard worker!! They didn't have a waiting list; if that was my GOAL. I woulve wasted my life on trying to get into that program every year for....who knows how long? I had to let that one go. Temporarily maybe, maybe I'll go for it again someday, but it wasn't in my best interest to obsess over it. I had to move on.
So. The key to happiness lies in checking out the detours and backroads, wihout fear of changing course. Road maps for life might lead to material gain, but there's a good chance that if you follow them unquestioningly, you'll lose yourself.
It's my opinion that the most fulfilled people were also the most spontaneous and the least goal oriented. Those that took a risk, that tried something new, that just did it! Yea for them that took risks, that went against their parent's expectations. How many rebels out there that influenced the generations planned on being rebels?
"If you want to be happy and sucessful in the broadest sense; I suggest you take your nifty five-year-plan and your lifetime to-do list and throw them out the window. And while you're at it, get some air."
As I do some reasearch, I find that the most fulfilled people were also the most spontaneous and the least goal oriented. HA!
If you're good at setting goals and acheiving them and you're still not happy, check this out;
Whose goal is it anyway? Most people's goals aren't their own. They tend to be driven by society and family pressure.
When you focus on a goal, you put blinders on. You lose your peripheral vision and miss out on all the great opportunities around you.
You're always living for the future. You end up saying, "I'll be happy when..." You sacrifice today in the hopes that something wonderful is going to happen tomorrow, But it almost never does. That's what happens with goals; You're constantly chasing them. False Summits. You mountian climbers understand this idea.
You're courting faliure. You become attached to one outcome. and even of you get it, reality seldom matches the dream and all it's Technicolor splendor.
K- here's the wrap up -
Goal-Free Living isn't about being aimless or saying, "Oh, this is getting tough. I've got to stop; It's about being passion driven in the moment, while knowing you can change course, It's also about getting out, playing and trying lots of new things; you can't find out what you love to do by sitting and thinking about it, you must experience it.
Life is uppredictable, go give up control; Create many paths and play hard.
And that, if you'll excuse me, sounds like a worthy goal.