I just had a conversation with a new friend of mine, she was telling the real reason her hubby hasn't agreed to go out with us yet; was because her hubby is shy , and is less than enthusiastic about going out. period. He just wants to spend time alone with her. I'm not hurt, like she may assume, because I totally get that.
This reminds me of a time when this was the norm for Kevin and I as well. For the first 5 years of our marriage he didn't really want to socialize with others. I thought he was just shy, which he was a bit, but I also think it was because we were enjoying quite a long honeymoon period :) But to be honest we felt like we didn't NEED any others around. We entertained ourselves quite nicely and didn't find we were missing anything. But after some time and a lot of convincing, (I mean it IS healthy to interact with others) we started having couples over and found we liked the new experience after all. Even if we REALLY didn't want to at first, we tried it, and in the end we had a great time and wanted to do go out again. Now, we STILL like to be hermit-ish quite often, but we are much more likely now to invite others into our little lives. Be it over for dinner, games, out to a show, or out for a walk. It's nice to share our lives and see what we have in common with others. Kevin actually looks forward to having other friends to interact with, and suggests dates and activities and askes me to call others ( You're nuts if you thing HE would ever call all by his big-boy self :)
Kev said to me once that he realized he likes seeing me around other people. He forgets how fun and witty I can be in a crowd. AND it's nice to see that other people find me interesting and enjoy my company like he does, it makes him appreciate me even more when there are others around. It also gives us oppurtunity for improvement and for healthy comparisons... if we like how another couple behaves towards eachother, then we have good examples to help launch any improvements necessary to our situation, and the opposite is true (I hope I NEVER treat you like ...such and such) It's almost a check and balance system. And we get to have new experiences as a couple.
As a bonus: it increases our useless trivia knowledge and our skills in board gaming and charades teamwork!!
And just think, all of this comes about from one night of friends over!
And Now you're too intimidated to hang out with us :)
Okay, I tell you this only to share what I learned. We're not judgmental, just reflective.
This reminds me of a time when this was the norm for Kevin and I as well. For the first 5 years of our marriage he didn't really want to socialize with others. I thought he was just shy, which he was a bit, but I also think it was because we were enjoying quite a long honeymoon period :) But to be honest we felt like we didn't NEED any others around. We entertained ourselves quite nicely and didn't find we were missing anything. But after some time and a lot of convincing, (I mean it IS healthy to interact with others) we started having couples over and found we liked the new experience after all. Even if we REALLY didn't want to at first, we tried it, and in the end we had a great time and wanted to do go out again. Now, we STILL like to be hermit-ish quite often, but we are much more likely now to invite others into our little lives. Be it over for dinner, games, out to a show, or out for a walk. It's nice to share our lives and see what we have in common with others. Kevin actually looks forward to having other friends to interact with, and suggests dates and activities and askes me to call others ( You're nuts if you thing HE would ever call all by his big-boy self :)
Kev said to me once that he realized he likes seeing me around other people. He forgets how fun and witty I can be in a crowd. AND it's nice to see that other people find me interesting and enjoy my company like he does, it makes him appreciate me even more when there are others around. It also gives us oppurtunity for improvement and for healthy comparisons... if we like how another couple behaves towards eachother, then we have good examples to help launch any improvements necessary to our situation, and the opposite is true (I hope I NEVER treat you like ...such and such) It's almost a check and balance system. And we get to have new experiences as a couple.
As a bonus: it increases our useless trivia knowledge and our skills in board gaming and charades teamwork!!
And just think, all of this comes about from one night of friends over!
And Now you're too intimidated to hang out with us :)
Okay, I tell you this only to share what I learned. We're not judgmental, just reflective.
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